The Thing about Goals

You can’t escape it,’New Year, New You‘, ‘What are you goals for this year?’… ‘What did you achieve this year?’

There’s a lot of pressure, especially online to be able to list a load of things you’ve achieved in the last year. Half your mates are probably reminiscing on their marriages, babies, houses, promotions and health achievements. But what do you do when you’ve not ‘achieved’ anything big or your year’s gone off track?

Redefining Achievement

Too many of us define achievements as physically gaining things or create these big life goals we’re supposed to have met by the end of the year. It’s easy to feel sad and low when you look at life like that and feel you haven’t met some kind of target.

Instead try to think of little feel good moments, smiles with friends, books you’ve loved and films which made you laugh. Life’s a mixed bag of everything and the kitchen sink and sometimes you’ve got to just shrug things which didn’t go well off and look elsewhere.

It’s Good to have Goals…

But more important is the goal of being kind to yourself. It sounds totally cheesy, but what do you gain by beating yourself up when something’s gone wrong? Pretty much nothing. Try to reflect, learn and move forwards! It’s great to aim high but you need to be kind to yourself when things don’t go as planned.

I’ve always set goals and taken pride when i’ve achieved them. On the other hand I’m terrible for beating myself up when I don’t achieve them! I feel like I’ve let everyone and myself down and find it easy to spiral from there. School teaches you to aim for a grade and that anything less is bad. University was the same and the industry I work in is massively about targets. Mentally, that’s exhausting.

A Reflection on 2018

This year has not been great for me. I entered it with a lot of plans. Some for holidays, some for work and friends. I got really ill around May and have been off work since then. That big holiday went out the window, work goals vanished, friend plans weren’t possible. It sucked and I felt like such a failure, even though I didn’t choose to be sick. I know i’m not alone in feeling this way, and that’s a comfort in itself.

I’m trying to learn to be kinder to myself moving forwards. It’s easier said than done but really who does it help to be angry with myself on top of everything else? I’m reminding myself of the friend visits I’ve had, audiobooks I’ve loved and the support from my partner and family I’ve been fortunately to receive.

All I hope for 2019 is to move forwards and find a better, healthier balance in life. Happiness is a goal that doesn’t need to be quantified and I’d rather work towards that!

Remember if you’re struggling around this time of year or any time, you can always call Samaritans on

116 123 (UK)


Ruthy xo

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4 thoughts on “The Thing about Goals”

  1. Ruthy, I enjoyed your blog post so much. This year has been a hard year for me and I have decided to set kinder goals for myself, concentrating on my health, my family, and my love. This is the main thing I talk about with my peeps and I curated your blog posts for them. Thank you so much for your insight.

    1. Thank you so much for you lovely comments! I’m so pleased you liked my post so much and really flattered it was useful to share with your followers- thank you 🙂

      I hope you have a positive, kinder year in 2019!

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